Since getting married I have often said that God uses marriage to hold a mirror up to us to show us everything that He doesn’t (and never did) like about us. Since our daughter was born less than 3 weeks ago I realize that he uses children to show you even more how selfish you are, and how arrogant you are.
Prior to the baby Amy & I had our theories about what raising our child would be like. We had these high ideals that we were sure we’d be able to meet: everything from the type of delivery to the sleeping & eating patterns of our little girl. We’ve since found out that ideals are seldom lived up to.
–And I want to make a public apology to all parents everywhere for ever once thinking that it couldn’t really be that hard or that when I had children I would do it better. I had no right to speak, and am humbled by how truly little I really know.
People always said that I am good with kids. And I think I am to some degree. But it’s very different when they’re your child and you need them to eat more or sleep more, or not cry so much. Sure, our baby girl seems to like the silly songs that I make up to get her to stop crying or fall asleep, but at 3:30 a.m. I’m not singing any made up songs. I’m praying, “Lord, please help Abigail to fall asleep.”
Right now we’re in that “schedule” verses “no schedule” questioning. How long can she go without a schedule before it starts becoming a pattern of it’s own, we ask ourselves. Basically, we’ve determined that at this point it’s all about survival. We don’t have to be great, we just have to survive. We’ve had to remind ourselves that with all the books out there there is no instruction manual to OUR baby. And even though we are both college educated there is no degree for parenting. It is a life skill that is learned by failing, stumbling blindly, humbling yourself, and much prayer.
Would definitely appreciate your continued prayers as Amy & I journey through this new adventure called parenting.
Tim,
I LAUGHED so hard when I read this because it is soooooo true!!! I need to give you guys a call and talk about all this stuff – but it’s SOOOOO TRUE!!! I pray BLESSINGS on you guys as you figure out what to do – and you know what, after eight weeks, I feel a teensy bit more confident, but there are still times when I don’t know what to do with my kids!! My prayers are very similar to yours too…..thanks, friend, for sharing.
Bethany
By: Bethany on May 30, 2008
at 1:49 am
bhaiya, it’s only when another selfish person is in the room that our selfishness is revealed. for now, your world revolves around someone else and that does something. at least it did for me. i thought i was very patient, but i’m not. i thought i was very understanding, but no. i assumed that i was really level-headed, but i’m a hothead. and being tired for the first three weeks was murder on my personality. it is about survival at some level. every parent becomes a pragmatist. i’ve heard that the entire process of parenting is the the practice of letting go, and to some extent, i’ve found that to be true, particularly when i’m disappointed when my newborn daughter has no ability to receive what i think i’m transmitting as love. the thought struck me that someone did the same for me – rocking me to sleep in the middle of the night and wiping up all my spit up. and i don’t remember a single incident. how much we forget the grace of God and assume that we know what we are doing. how much do i love this baby more than she will ever know? probably a fraction of how God feels for us… be strong bhaiya. our girls are making men out of us.
By: David Park on June 14, 2008
at 3:20 pm